I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
