Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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