i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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