Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Randomize
