just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
