Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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