You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
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