so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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