she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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