I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Randomize
