I wish my penis had an off switch
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
