Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
