btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
