Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
