I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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