Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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