Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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