i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I miss vodka workout Fridays
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
