"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
