If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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