return my video game
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
