I just made out with a guy for $7.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
i think im in europe. pls send help
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
