he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Randomize
