i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Damn victory sex feels great
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
