i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
