Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
