Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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