You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
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