I cockslap morals
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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