Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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