Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
