Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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