tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
