WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Randomize
