I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
