There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
