She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
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