Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
