What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
40s are totally the cure
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I have fence marks all over my body
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Randomize
