so let's talk penis.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Randomize
