come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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