Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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