U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
