you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
