you guys were way drunker than both of me
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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