found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
