So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Randomize
