I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
You pole danced in your parka.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
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