maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
