worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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