the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
