talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
